lately life has just been like what in the world am i thinking right. like decision after the next has seemed to be an ok one, until you look back. they say hind sight is 20/20. now dont get me wrong, i dont do regrets. because had i not made those decisions, i wouldnt be who i am, and i like who i am most days. now God on the other hand, i am sure he is pretty dissappointed. but you know what, there are people out there who are mighty incredible friends who have been there for me to dump on when i was down. and their advice of course are things that i already know and what i know i need to do to make things better between God and i.

the thing is it takes an extra measure of grace to come to those conclusions on your own...to a point where you are ready to act upon them, where you say "yes God, i am ready for you to mold me into that beautiful creation you set out for me to be". at that moment you know He smiles and thinks welcome back my child. because you know that no matter how dark your world may seem, once you ahve invited Him into your heart, he will never leave. and no matter how dark things appear around you, as long as you have said YES once, only once, that light is ever present, and never again can you be in utter darkness. bc even with just a little light, the darkness is broken and cant exist fully.

here are some lyrics from Sarah Buxton's "that kind of day"

Ha ha, it's gotta go up from here.
Today is gonna disappear,
An' nothin's gonna interfere, whoa, oh.
Gonna buy myself some flowers,
An' then spend a couple a-hours,
Talkin' to my Higher Power, whoa, oh.
Ask Him why life's this way.
(Ask Him why.)
Yeah, I'm gonna ask Him why my life's this way,
(Why's my life this way?)
There's just no tellin' what He's gonna say.
Oh, it's just that kind of day.

i like how she calls God her higher power. and you know what after having that kind of day, you really do need to take some time out for Him. no matter how tired or crappy your life seems. man, i am glad i am coming back around.